


let me let you go

by iamalystark



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s07e02 Proof, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Spencer Reid, I'm Sorry, References to Drugs, Sad Ending, Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Angst, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Spencer Reid Whump, Spencer Reid is a Mess, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:13:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29155641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamalystark/pseuds/iamalystark
Summary: "You mourned the loss of a friend," Emily Prentiss said, "I mourned the loss of six." And something in Spencer Reid broke.(Or, what Spencer should have said in s7e2.)
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss & Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & David Rossi, The BAU Team & Spencer Reid
Comments: 20
Kudos: 207





	let me let you go

**Author's Note:**

> that line pissed me off SO much this is a vent-

"You mourned the loss of a friend," Emily Prentiss said, "I mourned the loss of six." And something in Spencer Reid _broke_.

At her words, Reid's face twitched, his fingers tightening their hold on the book in his lap. 

"Bullshit," he whispered, voice barely audible but filled with seething rage.

"What?" Emily returned, not out of shock, but purely because she couldn't hear him. 

"Bullshit!" He snapped loud enough that everyone on the jet fell silent. 

"Reid, wha-"

"You did not mourn the loss of us. You did not think that you would never see us again, that we were gone, _dead_ , and would never come back. You did not carry our coffins or stand at our graves and cry. You did not mourn us, because we weren't dead!" Spencer hissed, his chest beginning to heave and his eyes welling with unshed tears.

"You were dead, Emily. _You_. _You_ let us think you were dead. You let _me_ think you were dead when there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't cry myself to sleep or wish I had a needle full of dilaudid in my arm. You let me think you were dead when you weren't, because of your _safety_ when you know for a fact that I would never tell anyone. Nobody on this team would, because we were family." Reid's face contorted in anger, his breaths coming fast.

"Don't try to tell me you mourned us, don't tell me you had it worse than me, because you really, _really_ didn't. This isn't something I can just forgive and forget, Prentiss. You destroyed my trust in you completely. You, JJ, and Hotch. All of you."

When he finished, red-faced and panting, everyone was watching him. Both Emily and JJ had tear filled eyes while Hotch's face had hardened, Morgan had looked away, and Rossi just looked _sad_.

"Reid. . ." Emily whispered, reaching for his hand, but he jerked away before she had the chance. 

"Don't touch me. You've lost that right," the doctor snapped, and then he stood, excusing himself to the bathroom. 

"Spence," JJ whispered as he walked by her. He didn't say a word, didn't meet her eyes. 

To them, he looked angry, his jaw clenched, fists tightened and brows furrowed. 

But when he finally got into the restroom, his face crumpled, his tears fell, and he wept.

_"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."_

_Stephen King._


End file.
